Out To Lunch Digest: PART 1 | Kevin McAleer

Out To Lunch Digest: PART 1

Kevin McAleer – Saying Yes To Yes

By Cara Gibney

Hmmm. We were in the presence of the ultimate calm today in the Black Box. The Out To Lunch festival salved our brow for the first time in 2017 with happy-go –lucky stand up Kevin McAleer opening  the Heart Chakra of the festival  to allow the free flow of craic and spiritual guidance – Strabane style.

It was an afternoon show. One of those 1pm starters with some grub in the ticket price. It was sold out and jammers, so I found an empty bit of wall to lean against and started to settle. But the OTL people wouldn’t be doing with any of that apparently and magic seats were found for myself and other stragglers. “I just want everyone to have a seat” the lady said.ksdfjbskj

Mr McAleer is a spiritual guru apparently. Who knew? He’s not a God he was quick to point out, but with his humility, tranquillity, and dead-pan, it’s hard to tell how close to deity we really were.  Although he does have human frailties. He had seen a sign in the green room that said ‘Please leave the room as you would like to find it.’ “It’s a beautiful sentiment” he told us, “but I just don’t have the time to take on a major project like that.”

“The auras in here are of a very high standard for this time of year” he said, and we felt blessed. Not least because he’d put so much effort into preparing for this. He’d been “burning the midnight pellets” he told us. “At both ends.”

Guru McAleer was actually born in the 13th century, and this was when he wrote the Bananarama Yoga Vindaloo Che Guevara Transcendental system of spirituality. He was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar at the time apparently. Today was an introduction to the 3-week residential course on his readings which include classes on weight loss levitation, donkey whispering, ego massage, growing your own hair, and fracking.

The fracking is popular he told us. We all have a supply of untapped natural gas in our subconscious. During a residential this will be drilled into using the Alexander Technique, which liberates the gas and replaces it with chemicals like alcohol, cocaine and aspirin, causing explosions.

This may sound extreme but it fits with his philosophy of Military Mindfulness. “What do we want” he shouted at us. “Mindfulness” we answered. “And when do we want it?”  “Now!”  He seemed happy enough with our response. “SS Mindfulness” he repeated. And the darkened room was enlightened.

If you have not yet experienced the true light of deadpan, dry-wit, curmudgeon Kevin McAleer you may be in need of spiritual counsel. “I haven’t lost my temper in 32 fuckin years” he shared with us, so he must be the real deal. It was with a serene soul and pasta in my belly that I left the Black Box. I was a new woman.

NEXT:

It’s Steve Davis / Kavus Torab DJ duo of experimental/ psychedelic musician, Kavus Torabi, and Steve Davis, the most successful professional Snooker Player of the 1980s!

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